Lux in Tenebris: Outtakes
by ClimbingUpTheWalls
Summary: No order, just one-shot after one-shot in different POV's. Goes along with my story Lux in Tenebris, which you would probably have to read to understand this.
1. Peeta: Family Dinner

I've only ever brought two girls home to meet the family, believe it or not. The first was Amee Rogers when we were twelve. I remember the day like it was yesterday… she had long blonde hair, bright green eyes and a perfect white smile. It was just after our first reaping and we'd both been shaken over the situation. Her parents were with the parents of the reaping 'winners' and so Amee had no one to feed her. When I explained this to my mother she snorted, smacked me across the head but still let her stay.  
"So it's up to us to feed her?"

She wasn't particularly bothered with Amee's hunger but my brothers and father were in high spirits, as high as they can get on reaping days anyway and reluctantly my mother agreed. She took bread straight from the window, sure to show Amee our wealth. I thought it strange that she needed to impress a little girl whom had come over to eat with us, but looking back there were many things that made me question my mother.

Amee, whose father worked in mine management, showed up at exactly seven. She still wore her reaping dress, though her hair was out of its bun now.

We sat around the dinner table, breaking bread with one another like most real families did, but tonight it wasn't the leftovers or stale. Only the best for our guests, for appearances I suppose.

I'm not oblivious to my mom's nickname you know, she can be a witch, and this became painfully clear that night.

"I hear coal funds are being cut, is that true dear?"

"Yes ma'am." Amee mumbled.

"What was that?" My mother asks, loving the sound of defeat in Amee.

"Yes ma'am." She says a little louder.

"At least your mother knows her way around the Seam." An obvious jab at Amee's mother whom had married into a town family, something she didn't seem to agree with.

The rest of the night went on like this, Amee reluctantly answering humiliating questions, my mother marveling at her answers as though it was polite dinner conversation and nothing I could do to stop it from happening. Several times I almost spoke out for her, but the looks given by my brothers were a warning that if I did, it would be ten times worse for me after she left. I couldn't have been more horrified but helpless to stop any of it.

I understood that if I said something against my mother, Amee would be treated even worse. This was a direct correlation from my brother's occasional dates that were brave enough for them to bring home. Most didn't return for a second date.

With all the pride she had left, she thanked us for the meal, curtsied to my mother and father and we started the short walk back to her home. To her credit, we made it almost halfway before she broke down into sobs. At first she tried to hide it but with tears streaming down her face I saw it all and for the first time I felt real anger, humiliation.

The next girl was Jeena Mcrough. We were fifteen and had begun a sort of courtship.

My mom hated Jeena and for no other reason other than I didn't spend day and night at the bakery as she had hoped.

"Dating? Certainly not! She only wants to secure her place in this family. She will tarnish our good name!"

Jeena didn't make it through the entire meal. My father and brothers stared at their plates intently and I'm ashamed to admit, I did as well. Jeena's crying seemed amplified in the silence and all I did was sit back in horror.

My mother gleaned with pleasure, she got what she wanted.

Needless to say after that night Jeena and I barely made eye contact again. I never even had a chance to tell her I was sorry.

In the games, after my confession of true love to Caesar Flickerman, I wondered what my mom would think if I brought Katniss Everdeen home to dinner. I think Katniss would have survived the evening unscathed but the fight that would have ensued, oh what I would have given to see that!

But it's not Katniss coming over tonight into our compartment in District Thirteen. Not Katniss at all…It's Clove, my sort of girlfriend. Not only was she willing to meet my family, she insisted as a matter of fact. I tried to warn her about what my mother thought was appropriate evening conversation but she would have none of it. She said she would be here tonight and indeed, she is. That should count for something, right?

Tonight will be especially stressful as we do not have the luxury of trying to preoccupy my mother with dinner; we have just the family around the living room table and the space between. This makes me especially nervous about the whole situation, I mean at least with Amee and Jeena there was a distraction to impede the thrashing my mother always seems to lash upon these unsuspecting women in my life. But Clove isn't Amee or Jeena and I certainly am anxious to get through the evening in one piece. Clove couldn't be more opposite from the others if she tried, she's tough but beautiful in her own ways and has the heart of a fighter, warrior. I won't let her down like I have everyone else.

Impatiently I look to my older brother whom had just been released from the hospital, to my father and then to my mother. Uncomfortably, we all take a seat in the living room and right away my other brother, the middle child, taps his foot until my mother growls at him to stop. My father sits in his chair, probably wishing Clove luck.

When my mother took the liberty to ask where Clove was from, she began to fume in her seat. I might have left that detail out but it wouldn't have stopped my mother's anger, she would hold the grudge no matter what. Seemed to petty to me that the only reason she cared was because the richest citizen of District Twelve is no match for the poorest in Two.

When the camera is off Clove turns into a different person. She's insecure and scared, two things I wouldn't have pegged her for at all and strangely probably the easiest for me to help her quell. I certainly give her credit, she's puts on one hell of a mask when she needs to but my ultimate goal in this relationship was to be able to dig beneath this persona and meet the girl underneath, the one who appears when it's just the two of us.

My body goes stiff and rigid when three light knocks come from the door.

_Clove won't cry… Clove won't cry…Clove won't Cry._

She's strong enough… God I hope so.

I open the door and there she is, in all her glory. He dark locks down around her shoulders and curled, dressed in a simple outfit that makes her curve in all the right places. It's a beautiful sight to behold. One I wouldn't mind seeing more often and I can't help but smile back at her in pride.

Before I can say Hi, Welcome, Come on in, Watch out for the Witch, she is leaning in on the tip of her toes, her lips crashing onto mine.

I feel my face flush with embarrassment and petrified with fear as my family, no doubt, saw every second of our interaction.

She pulls away, a smile spread across her lips. I know that deviant smile…. Here we go.

"Hey sweetie!" She says in her highest and chirpiest voice. She's messing with all of us. This is a game to her but it somehow it helps me relax. I wrap my arm around her waist, steering her to the room.

"I'd like you all to meet Clove." I say, my voice still unsteady from the kiss. My brothers stare at me with pure revere. My father looks mildly shocked but shakes Clove's hand and tells her what a pleasure it is to meet her.

Not my mother though, oh no, my mother stands there, her arms crossed as she taps her fingers against her arm. Her face twisted into a scowl.

"Yes Clove. Sit."

Let the interrogation begin.

We do have tea, although it was a stretch but somehow we managed to procure it for this night. I know it's killing my mother not being able to flaunt her wealth and good fortune in front of this obviously beautiful, wealthy young lady that I have brought before her and I can feel her rage seeping out of every pore.

"So Clove, you must tell me about your family."

Clove sips her tea, smiling back at her with the egregious grin, keeping perfect posture. Nothing like the girl in the arena who slouched over and always had a knife in her hand.

"Well my dad works in management, at the most prestigious quarry in Two actually."

"And your mother?"

"Works from home, she designs clothes mostly."

"Any brothers or sisters?" I wish I could warn Clove, my mom is getting as much information on her as she can, then she'll use it against her in some humiliating way but I can't even get a word in edgewise. They are going toe to toe and I couldn't be more proud that Clove is holding her own so far.

"I have one other sister. Thirteen." Clove is unnervingly calm as she quips back at every question.

"Oh how lovely." My mother says tonelessly, "I'm sure your sister is just as... fun as you are." She's no doubt referring to the kiss.

Clove giggles, a slight giggle that would send anybody in the arena into a state of dread. "Oh no, I'm the wild one. And Peeta brings that out in me."

I choke on my drink. My brothers whispering furiously to each other, my father also tried to contain himself as he choked on his own tea. My mom's raging furiously out of control and she stands up, pretending to be indignant.

"How dare you! Do not refer to my son in such a way!"

"In what way is that?" She asks, meeting her in the aggressive stance. I'm not sure if I need to stand up or stand back at this point so I stay as still as possible.

"As-as- A sexual object!"

With three little words my mother has now thrown my brothers into a fit of hysteria, not even holding back their laughing as they grip their sides and hold their mouths. She's not impressed.

With a tip of her eyebrow, Clove looks at mother, hands at her hips. "Sex? My how your mind jumps to conclusions Mrs. Mellark! I was referring to his humor and joy. How you drew sex from that...Well, I just don't know."

I blush. I wish she wouldn't keep throwing the word 'sex' around.

Her small hands grabs mine, holding it on the table where she wants my family to see, "You know you really should be proud of him! Takes a lot of balls to join the Careers. I admit I laughed when he first showed up but the smartest thing I ever did was trust Peeta."

It's probably the first genuine thing she's said so far tonight and I can't help but give her a proud smile back. It's at this moment that I truly realize that I'm in trouble. Everything I feel for a girl like this could lead to trouble.

"Now if you excuse us, we have important Victor directives that need our immediate attention. Good evening."

She jumps up, pulling my hand with hers and we begin to head towards the door.

I hear my mother stuttering and choking out words from behind us, something along the lines of 'wait' and 'how dare you?' but I could care less. She's humiliated me far too long in this life and with Clove at my side, I no longer feel it necessary to give her what she longs for: The satisfaction of tearing me down, people I care about down, with her into her miserable life.

"Goodbye Mellark family, pleasure meeting you."

She calmly walks out the front door, with my hand still in hers, and slowly shuts the door behind her. As we run down the hallway and into the elevator, our laughing seems to stir the attention of those around us.

Yes…yes. Very serious trouble.


	2. Glimmer: Beautiful

I'm just a sex symbol….That's what Cashmere and Gloss encouraged me to be anyway.

That was my best bet to get sponsors, so I put on that flimsy skin tight golden dress and let all of Panem see me half naked. And for what? Was glory worth that high of a price? Looking back, I find it hard to believe it was.

I wish the new District Twelve stylist had chosen to work with my district. Then I could have been the most breathtaking woman Panem had ever seen. Perfection everlasting and I would make all those boys back home salivate at my mere presence and regret ever looking the other way.

But in came Katniss Everdeen, in all her glory, and stole the limelight with her fire. She captured the entire Capitol audience in seconds and did all of this while still keeping all her clothes on.

I shrug it off, running my fingers through my glistening hair and musing that I'm half naked now anyway and it's not that bad. It doesn't really matter though, as the cameras are no longer fixated on our crew anymore and the only person around is Rue from District Eleven. She blushed when I took my shirt and pants off and asked just what I was doing.

"Tanning, silly girl."

As I turned to tan the front of my legs I flinched. The Cornucopia, made of sheet metal it seemed, seared into the dermal layer of my skin and I flinched in anguish. I remembered my training and let it soak in, the aching, because beauty is supposed to be painful. In our district there were penalties for not keeping up your appearance and I chose not to endure those types of tortures.

Rue inched her way over to my side of the Cornucopia, keeping her knees up to her chest as she stared at the trees, waiting for someone to return.

She's good at climbing, I saw her up into the heights of trees I dared not venture, as she gathered fresh fruit for our breakfast. It's a good thing too, I hate the dried stuff in the supplies. Fresh fruit is good for your skin.

My mom always kept a fresh bowl of fruit back home on the kitchen table for my siblings and myself to partake in daily. My sisters and I would always fight over the oranges. I close my eyes and think how they must be doing. Cynthia, my older sister, whom everyone thought would be primed for the Games, the one who I knew would give Cato a run for his money, never got her chance to volunteer. Everyone always said she'd make a perfect Career if she wanted but she chose to get married instead. Plus, she didn't train like I did. I was chosen to bring pride back for my District and my family. She's pregnant now and going to have a bunch of cute babies with her successful husband. And I'm here, left to guard our supplies because I couldn't be more useful. What a Career I had become, I scoffed.

And I wasn't supposed to go into the Hunger Games at all, that's the stupidest part of this whole situation!

I just trained because it's a good way to stay in shape and it was expected of me to stay gorgeous. Anita was supposed to volunteer, but then they drew my name from the bowl and she smirked as they had last call for volunteers. She even waved at me as I walked up to the stage and smiled for all of Panem to see. Anita thinks I won't win in here. She thought I'd die a slow, horrible death and I suspected she wished this for me so she didn't volunteer like she was supposed to.

That's a flaw in the whole Career system, especially amongst the women; Nothing worse than jealously.

I shake her out of my head, I'll show her! I will...

That was my goal, wasn't it? Prove I'm strong enough? Win the Hunger Games and go home a victor. I killed people. I murdered them violently and I wasn't even upset about it. Survival of the fittest and I didn't come to die. The thought crosses my mind as I keep my eyes closed, what was the killing for now? We're all working together now. We had formed our own alliances to stay alive and the killing I had done was for nothing. Could I kill my teammates now that I know their names?

Yes, but I don't want to. Only if I had to….

"Why do you tan Glimmer?" A small voice asks. She's so quiet that I forgot about her still sitting beside me.

I roll over onto my stomach, which I also noticed is a lot flatter now that there is less food in my life. It doesn't make me happy like I thought it would.

"Because tanned skin is beautiful. Obviously."

"But why is it beautiful?"

"It just is." I say, with an edge in my voice. How did she not know that?

"I think you're beautiful already, though."

I open my mouth to say 'obviously' but the words don't come out. Who was the last person to call me beautiful? My dad? No I'm 'pretty' and 'cute.' My boyfriend? Yeah. Chase, who dumped me in the Justice Building, not likely. I hope he was watching the Games, saw me flirt with Cato from District Two. See what he's missing now! I hope he was jealous.

I shake my head, emptying any thought of my bastard of an Ex. He wasn't even worth the air I still breathe.

"Thank you."

She grins widely at me and I notice she has relatively straight white teeth. With not cosmetic alterations, she's got a perfect smile.

Even though my back isn't nearly as tan as my front is, I give up; it's no use out anyway. At least one person thinks I'm beautiful and maybe that's enough for now.

I pull my pants and shirt back on and again find my mind wandering to the groups out in the fields, I feel bad about them. I hope Katniss managed to find clothes that fit. I should have tailored Clove's better since she's so small. I should have helped more, in the only ways I know how, but didn't on purpose. What kind of person does that make me, really?

I look over at Rue who is staring at nothing, fidgeting with her fingernails, probably nervous about being left here with the District One monster.

"Are you afraid the mutts will come back?" I ask.

She turns and looks at me, shrugging, "No."

Her nail breaks off and it doesn't seem bother her much, but it bothers me. In her own way she is beautiful, exotic to the blonde hair and blue eyes of District One. Green eyes are considered remarkable back home. I take in her slight build, her flawless smile and notice that her hair is coiled and black. Her skin a whole new shade of creamy ebony, one I've only seen in the Hunger Games and on screens. Her eyes gleam in shades of dark chocolate, but they have something behind them that I wish mine had; Bravery…Honesty… Innocence. That's real beauty.

Such a strange notion, to see so much in one small girl, but we are in the Hunger Games and anything is possible. Maybe I'll never have that innocence, but maybe, just maybe, I could be courageous and honest.

"Wait here." I tell her as I slide down the Cornucopia and onto the ground. I had found them earlier, planning to do my nails when I was especially bored but my nails look fine and maybe she should have her nails painted. I sincerely doubt she had ever had the chance to enjoy such a pleasure.

I crawl into my tent and find in one of my bags a tub full of berries I had saved as well as a few leaves and a couple of bowls. I grab a needle meant for our medical supplies and start to climb back up to meet Rue.

"What's that?" Rue asks. I'm sure I look frightening with berries, bowls and a needle in my hand but I smile at her and say, "You'll see."

She sits patiently, but I see her left leg extended just a bit over the eve. She's ready to make a run for it just in case I try to kill her. I can't blame her for thinking that, I've not been the best person up to this point.

I separate the berries by color, mix a few here or there before starting the process of crushing them. The juices fill the bowls and I make a conscious effort not wipe my hands on my clean clothes. Who knows when we'll have a chance to wash things up again.

I mix the leaves into the separate bowls and Rue peeks over to see the colors mixing in each. She seems to be enjoying what I'm doing and giggles just a bit. The colors aren't nearly as vibrant as what we did back home but I make do.

When I was little my friends and I would always do this. Our mothers had nail polish from the Capital, and some from the markets, but it was still fun to make our own.

The thought of my friends hadn't passed until this moment and I feel such a bitter anger build up. Only Rye visited me at the Justice Building, just the one out of so many I thought I had. Even then, she didn't cry. Not one tear for me as I left. She just hugged me and said how great it had been knowing me and walked right back out the door.

Crystal and Jasmine wouldn't look me in the eyes when I walked up to the stage. They knew Anita wouldn't volunteer and they decided it was time to cut me out of their lives. I'd known them since before I could walk and the betrayal sat deep in the back of my throat. The taste made me want to wash my mouth out with water; they weren't worth my time but their memory makes me crush the berries harder until there is only a thick paste.

"Let me see your hand." I try to say gently, seeing how nervous she looks, reaching mine out to meet hers.

Reluctantly she extends her hand to me. I cut a small piece of fabric on my bag, dipping it into the burgundy paste. Carefully, I apply it to her thumbnail. Then the index, middle, ring and pinkie. She smiles widely at me as I set her hands down on the Cornucopia for direct sunlight and hope they will dry fast.

I do the same to her other hand and think to myself that this polish probably won't stay on long but they'll look nice for now.

I take the first hand and blow on the nails. Rue watches me with curious eyes and I know my initial observation about her not ever having this done before was right. This makes me angrier at this entire situation. Her stylist should have taken the time to make her perfect, radiant even. But her stylist probably didn't care about her; realized she was a lost cause and focused on Thresh.

Its disgusting the injustice the smaller tributes get. Their treatment should be equal and someday I know I'm going to help make it right. I will be the most amazing stylist the Capitol has EVER seen!

Continuing the makeover to her nails, I take the red color, which isn't nearly as bright and vibrant as the one I have at home, and make four curved triangles on each nails with the small needle. The yellow color is dabbed on in the center of each triangle. Then I make a green vine that comes down to rest at the bottom of each nail.

It's a forty five minute process, but when I'm done they look surprisingly accurate for berry polish. I grin in satisfaction and hold them up for her to view.

"They're flowers." Rue says, fascination and awe in her voice.

I nod, pleased with my work.

She puts her nails together and shows me, "A bouquet!"

We laugh together and I find myself unable to hold back a hug. Such a strange turn of events and it's in this singular moment that I know in my heart that I won't kill her, couldn't now even if I wanted to. One of the others would have to kill me first and if that happens, I'll die as the most stunning tribute to have ever graced the Hunger Games and Anita will know she was wrong.


	3. Azora: Family

I have a family.

Of course I have a family.

One I love. One I'm going to fight to get back to.

District Thirteen. The Capital. They won't stand in my way. No matter what I will get home to them. My mother, her tear filled eyes in the Justice Building after I was reaped. My father who broke down mid sentence. My brothers who tried to hold onto me as I was dragged away.

I miss them. I want them back. They're mine. _Mine._

I'm not a Career. My district is though, and that's how I got in. But not me. I was willing to use it though, to my advantage. Because I'm going home.

But then this rebellion messed it all up and now I'm in a place that should be destroyed, and District Thirteen doesn't care about us. We're just the leverage they need against the Capitol.

Who cares about them?

District Four is home.

And Katniss, Peeta, Thresh, Rue, Marrisa, Glimmer, Cato, Clove, Marvel...

There all great I guess. But there not my family.

And I already prepared myself to kill them once before.

It can happen again.

* * *

**So I just whipped this up really quickly to show you I'm not dead and to let you know Lux in Tenebris (The actual story not these one shots) IS NOT DISCONTINUED. I know I haven't updated in over a month, I apologize. You'd think with summer I'd have more time to write but wrong. New job, hardly any days off. That sort of thing. I have a chapter being edited right now and just started the next, so I really am sorry and hope that I don't do this again.**

**Thank you for all you're reviews though, they mean a lot and are what encouraged me to continue writing and get over the writers block.  
**


End file.
